nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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