let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I deserve this hangover.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
