I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
