I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
