He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
