I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
