HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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