guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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