dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
