I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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