I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
