they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So squirting runs in the family.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
