Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We are two peas in an std pod
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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