I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
