all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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