that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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