Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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