addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
