My room smells like vodka and shame
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
