they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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