just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
