my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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