My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
