Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
