4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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