I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
