Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
