you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
