He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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