If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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