She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
