he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
