The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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