I can tuck mytits in my pants
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
