All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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