Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
