used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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