I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
