We're like a lot better than the average bears
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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