i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
