are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize