You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
