I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
