My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
