Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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