It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
