wrigley field is MILF paradise
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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