I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
