we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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