We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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