I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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