11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
